Being diagnosed bipolar was not a journey I went through alone. I had my wonderful boyfriend right by my side the entire time. Every doctors appointment, medication switch, moods change, and yes, of course, the crying. I wanted to be normal, feel normal, just be freaking normal. I was so far gone, I had no idea what normal felt like. At no point was there a time where I was 100% convinced I was going to feel "normal" ever again; but that is just part of dealing with bipolar disorder, and many other mental health conditions.
Depression is a good example of this. Though my boyfriend was there to help me throughout the entire process of finding a great medication regimen, he was silently struggling-- the worst struggling one could do. About a month ago, he mentioned he was not okay, but months before that I was asking him if everything was alright. He was acting extremely different and there started to be a tension between us. He got put on an antidepressant, and while it helped in some ways, it only made things worse in other ways.
On the brink of breaking up, I called him, crying, worried about him like never before. I reassured him that I loved him, his family loved him, my family loved him, even his dog and cat along with my cat loved him very much. No matter how hard he wanted to push me away, I told him that just simply wouldn't happen. He helped me get where I am, so I am going to help him get to where he needs to be in order to feel normal again-- the feeling I once thought didn't exist.
Depression is challenging, but it is not impossible. There are good days and bad days, a lot of which you can never predetermine. With that in mind, I need to remind myself every day that I am capable of loving him at his worst, like he did for me, and I am capable of loving him at his best because he is someone worthy of love and affection.
While I wish I could take all of his pain and suffering away, I know I cannot; the only thing I can really do is sit there with him, holding his hand throughout it all, even if he may not want me to. I will fight for him, with him, but never against him, like he did for me. He will not go through this alone, and I am determined to do everything in my power to help overcome all of the challenges brought on by this horrible depression.